Live from Jo'burg

After a little over a week here, I’ve seen and experienced enough things to fill about twenty blog entries. Unfortunately I haven’t written any of those entries because I haven’t had access to the internet until very recently. So in the interest of catching up, here are some highlights.

1) I used to think that nobody drove more aggressively than New Yorkers. Then I arrived in South Africa. I’ve been told by more than one South African that street lights (called “robots” here) are more like suggestions than directives. On top of the general recklessness of most drivers in Joburg, people drive on the left side of the road here. So, despite the utter responsibility of the person who picked me up from the airport, my first ride on a South African highway was nothing short of terrifying. 

2) Shortly after making the discovery that all traffic operates on the left side of the road, I realized that pretty much everything here is oriented to the left. Faucets turn to the left, door knobs turn to the left, everything. I swear that I almost knocked my face against a revolving door because they turn to the left here instead of the right -__- . 

3) Shortly after realizing that I could legally drink here, I realized that I don’t like hanging out in bars. Go figure.

4) There is a Hooters in Johannesburg. I went there to watch the Superbowl. Isn’t that silly?

5) I’m having quite a hard time understanding Joburg slang. For instance, there’s a whole system for referring to time using different forms of the word “now”. From what I understand, “now now” = sometime in the distant future, “just now” = 10-15 minutes or “nowish”, “now” = in the next few minutes. Apparently the word “now” is never really used to refer to the immediate present. Meaning, if we’re leaving at the present moment, nobody will say “we’re leaving now”. They’ll just pick up their things and start to go. 

That’s all for now. More updates to come now now. 

-K

“The new South Africa is…one of the most inspiring and hope-filled places on the [African] continent. It’s political and social revolutions are so recent that those who lived through them are still there to guide you, and grassroots activism common.” - Lonely Planet

Romanticized though this assessment may (or may not) be, this is one of the main reasons that I chose to spend the next semester in Johannesburg, South Africa (affectionately known as Jo’burg or Jozi). I’ve come to the point in my education in which I can see both the necessity and near impossibility of changing the way that America works. After years of mismanagement, our economy is crumbling, and the people who are supposed to put together the pieces are busy pointing their fingers at one another. Public education for millions of people is little more than a prelude to imprisonment. And, despite the ideology I’ve been fed my entire life, higher education seems to be little more than a prelude to debt and unemployment. Needless to say, I could go on listing the many ways that I feel American society has failed me and my entire generation for quite a while. In short I need to get the hell out of here before I lose my mind.

Thus, I’m off to Johannesburg in search of hope. Not the kind that comes on campaign posters. The kind that works its way into the fabric of your being and inspires you to keep fighting. I believe it’s out there. I believe that South Africa is a perfect place to start. For my own sake, and for the sake of my community, it’s time to go.

-K

Patriotism has never been a big part of my life. I spent most of my youth as the only kid who wouldn’t recite the pledge of allegiance, and the one who would argue with my seventh-grade teacher about Bush’s foreign policy. The more I’ve learned about America’s tradition of systematically excluding non-white peoples from American mainstream culture, the less attached I’ve felt to my own identity as an American. Still, every time that I leave the country I am faced with the unavoidable reality that I am an American woman.

                But then again, I see things like this and I begin to wonder…

So Tumblr followers, I’m genuinely curious: how have patriotism and your national identity (American or otherwise) played into your life?

When I committed to going on a trip to Brazil to learn about Capoeira, I knew that I was committing myself to spending three weeks outside of my comfort zone. I wasn’t very confident in my capoeira abilities before the trip. There were several times when the encouragement of my friends who were also taking the class was the only thing that kept me from giving up. Still, I gained a lot of strength and confidence from Capoeira 1, and I thought that going to Brazil would be a good way to challenge myself further.
    The shortest answer is that I was right. During my three-week trip to Brazil, I spent more time feeling lost and frustrated with myself than I ever have. I was frustrated because I felt like the weakest player in the group, and most times I couldn’t communicate well enough in Portuguese to ask our teachers questions (let alone ask for more oatmeal at breakfast, or ask for directions, or figure out whether or not a merchant was trying to cheat me out of my money). Carrying around these negative feelings all of the time really took a toll on my energy and hampered my enjoyment of the trip.
    The funniest thing is that I didn’t even realize that that was why I felt so unhappy until about a week into the trip when we took our first trip to the beach. While I had seen the ocean before, I had never actually gotten into it until then. I waded confidently into the water only to have the waves snatch my feet from under me when I got in about waist-deep. As soon as I finished sputtering and got the salt water out of my eyes, another wave came and pushed me into the water again. When I stood up and caught my breath a second time, I had an epiphany. Facing something as huge as an ocean and having it knock me down put everything into very clear perspective. No matter how hard I try, I can never be the best, strongest, or smartest in everything that I attempt. As I walked back to the shore I realized that my experience of Capoeira Angola and every other challenge that I’ll ever face is shaped by whether I let that fact discourage me or inspire me to strive for my personal best. I never want to forget the beauty of helplessness; of the unique inspiration that comes from struggle. I hope to carry this lesson and the many other things that I learned in Brazil with me for the rest of my life.

I always do this. I worry about silly things instead of focusing on the good. I’m mostly posting this because seeing it in writing will make it more clear that I’m being silly. Anyway, here goes. Being a little upset that my GPA went down by .01% isn’t worth the energy…right?

Reading things like this makes me think A) what a messed up world I live in and B) maybe I could have fun being an academic…

“As it became increasingly evident that [Hurricane Katrina] had inflicted its heaviest damage on people who were poor, illiterate, and predominately black, what emerged from Mississippi was the ugly recognition of the United States as a society divided against itself across the frontiers of race and class. Not ‘one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all’ but two nations, divisible by bank account, with liberty and justice for those able to pay the going rate for a government pimp” -What Lies Beneath: Katrina, Race, and the State of the Nation

Three hours of Capoeira Angola training later, I’m still moving. I think I might be stronger than I give myself credit for.

I’m sick. My sinuses and I are not on good terms. Yet when people ask how I’m doing, I pause mid-sniffle and answer, “I’m doing well, thanks.” This is a blatant lie. I’m not doing very well at all. I never really noticed how uncomfortable I am with admitting to people that I’m feeling less-than-well, but it’s kind of bizarre. Not that I want to tell people all of the sorrows of my life. I just wonder what it would be like if I was always completely honest when people ask me how I’m doing. If I did respond, “I’m feeling kind of crappy, how are you?” what would people say?